Lupin the third VS Reds VS Blues
by Fire Scorpion
Summary: Lupin, Jigen, Goemon and Pearl went into another dimension, the Red vs Blue universe. they ended up in a in the desert where the aliens and some of the Reds and Blues.
1. Chapter 1: a day in the desert

a day in the desert

A/N: this takes place in season 8, and I also be adding some other characters.

Doc in Valhalla, and radio sounds.

Come in Command. Come in Command, this is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have arrived at Freelancer Program Simulation Outpost Seventeen. Command? Come in? Come in, this is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have reached FPS Outpost 17. Doc said on the radio.

Hey, down here, we're over here! Hey, come down here! Simmons yelled at Doc.

Never mind Command, I think I see the objective. Stupid radio doesn't work anyway. What else is new. Doc said to Simmons, turn off the radio in his helmet.

Doc runs down to Simmons and a dead Donut.

Holy cow, Simmons! Is that you? Doc said to Simmons.

Oh, hey Doc. Man, I didn't know they'd send you. Simmons replied to Doc.

Yeah, we got the radio call and I was the closest medic so they sent me. But I didn't know it'd be you guys! Small galaxy, huh? Man, we got a lotta catching up to do. So what's up, somebody hurt or what? What's going on? Doc explains to Simmons.

Him. Simmons said to Doc looking at Donut on the ground.

Him? Um, he's dead. Doc replied to Simmons.

Yeah, he is. He was shot. Simmons replied to Doc.

Um, Simmons, I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, and I have increased my skill as a medic in that time, but dead is still pretty much outside my jurisdiction. Doc said to Simmons.

Man, I just didn't know they'd send you. Simmons said to Doc.

Yeah, you said that already. Hey is everything okay with you? Doc said to Simmons.

What're you talkin' about? Doc asked Simmons.

I didn't mean for you to get involved, I'm sorry, really. Simmons said to Doc.

Sorry about what? Doc asked Simmons.

Doc turns around and sees Wash and the Meta.

Uh oh. Doc said worried.

He's sorry about us. Washington said to Doc.

The Meta hits Doc and turns black.

Meanwhile at the deserts, Grif looking at a desert field with Tucker approaching him.

Hey Grif, what's up? Tucker said to Grif.

Hm? Oh. Hey Tucker. Grif said to Tucker.

What're you doing? Tucker asked Grif.

Well, Sarge told me to bury all the bodies from our battle... Grif replied to Tucker.

That's a lotta graves. Lotta holes to fill. Bow chicka bow wow. Tucker said to Grif.

And now I can't find 'em, because the bodies were piled up over here, by these stone pillars, and then the wind came and blew sand all over the damn things. Grif said to Tucker.

So I guess they're already buried. Good job dude. Tucker said to Grif.

I like the way you think. Grif replied to Tucker.

Sarge approaches both of them.

Grif, what the hell are you doing up here? I thought I told you to bury those... bodies. What? Sarge said to Grif.

He did, he buried the shit out of them, look. Tucker said to Sarge.

What the- I only gave you that order five minutes ago. How'd you do it so fast? Did you help him? Sarge said confused.

Help him? Dude, we've been fighting for like eight years, haven't you learned anything about me yet? I'm a lover, not a digger. Tucker replied to Sarge.

Yeheah, maybe he woulda helped me if some of the bodies were dead ladies. ...And I realise that sounded a lot creepier than what I intended. Grif said to Sarge.

Well, does someone wanna say a few words? Sarge asked Grif and Tucker.

Words? Grif said confused.

Yes, these men were soldiers. Even if they were enemy soldiers, they still deserve a eulogy. Sarge replied to Grif and Tucker.

Well don't look at me, I'm a lover not a talker. Hey dude, you wanna make another sex with dead people joke? Tucker said to Grif.

No, I think I hit my quota. Grif replied to Tucker.

Well what about your buddy mister cult leader? Sarge said to Grif and Tucker.

Church hovering around a rock with aliens in tow.

So, then was one guy, said some things to another guy, and the people liked it. And that's pretty much that. Church said to aliens.

It's not his fault, those aliens just worship this ancient technology. And the people who made it. Huh huh what's a brother gonna do? Tucker said to Sarge and Grif.

Who in Sam Hell worships technology? Sarge said confused.

Are they from the Internet? Grif said to Sarge.

Caboose comes from behind the rock following the aliens.

Yes, this is just very interesting. I understand everything that is being said. Good. Caboose said to himself.

Caboose, what're you doing, get outta there. Tucker said seriously to Caboose.

Caboose stands in front of Tucker and the others.

It's not fair! Hya- I worshiped Church, way before it was cool to worship him. Caboose replied to Tucker.

Hey, I already told you, that's still not cool. That will never, be cool. Ever. Grif said to Caboose.

Church floats next to Caboose.

Oh hey there guys. How's life among all the non-deities? Pretty lame, I bet! Pretty sure none of you've been worshiped all day long today.Weak! Church said to them.

Dya think you guys might be milkin' this just a bit? Sarge said to Church.

Hey, do you want to tell the big group of deadly aliens that they're mistaken and he's not who they think he is? Tucker said to Sarge.

Hm, I see your point. Hey, your circular holiness! How 'bout delivering the eulogy? We're buryin' most of these guys 'cause of you anyway. Sarge said to Tucker.

The aliens appear right behind Church.

I don't come to think of it now sometime maybe the greatest leader blue team and... Before Church could say a word a portal opens from behind him.

Everyone didn't say a word and stared at the portal.

What the hell? Grif said confused.

Where is that all portal? Tucker said.

Until the end of vehicle came out from the portal, a Fiat 500 along with Lupin and Pearl, Jigen, Goemon the Fiat landed in the sand.

Everyone did not say a word but stood there in shock.

What type of car is this what type of car is this? Caboose asked curiosity.

Lupin and Pearl step out of the car and tried to get out from the sand.

Wait a minute, look at that jacket. Sarge said look at Lupin's jacket.

So what he's wearing a Blue Jackets. Grif said to Sarge

That's the point Griffith more Blues oh the irony. Sarge said in a depressing way.

So what I mean there's not enough red soldiers around. Tucker said to Sarge.

Well I guess having the new members of our team and something else but what the hell. Church said.

Hi there my name is Lupin the Third and this is Pearl my girlfriend. Lupin said introduce himself and Pearl.

you're so lucky. Tucker said to Lupin.

Of course I'm always the luckiest man and of course I've been through a lot. Lupin said to Tucker.

You really have to say that. Pearl said to Lupin.

It just the reason I thought you out of trouble when you got in trouble with Garnet, lied to Garnet about trying to fuse with her. Lupin said to Pearl.

*Sigh* you know you are right after all I mean I wish you really did have to defend me for that. Pearl said to Lupin.

Jigen and Goemon also got out from the Fiat.

Yo what's up? Jigen said.

Who are you? Goemon said.

Let me to explain this to say my name is Tucker and this is Caboose the idiot and Church the floating bowling ball asshole! Tucker explains to them.

We're also called The Blue Team. Caboose said.

And I'm Sarge leader red team and this is Griff the lazy good-for-nothing, Simmons and Donut is back in Valhalla. Sarge said.

So that's Church. Lupin said looking at Church.

So I cannot believe my own eyes to even if I can punch of aliens or also standing right in front of Us. Jigen said.

You idiots shut up. Hey Globey, you makin' a speech or ain't ya? Sarge said to Church.

Hey sure no problem. I did a sermon just the other day that the aliens loved. Church replied to Sarge.

Church floats up next to the Reds and Tucker, Lupin and Pearl, Jigen and Goemon.

Tucker, Lupin and Pearl, Jigen, Goemon and the Reds join Caboose and the Ailens.

Attention true believers. And... other people. We are here today to pay our final, and our first, respects, to the dearly departed. But first, I'd like you all to join me in a song, in honor of me. Hm. I am the best. Church said to them.

Skip it. Grif and Sarge both said to Church.

Fine. Okay, uh, in the beginning, there was darkness. And uh, and out from the darkness came a voice. And it said... Church said to them.

Church sees an armored figure in the distance.

And it said... Uh... Uh-out- out from the darkness came... Out from the darkness... Church said confusingly errors.

Is his playback skipping? Grif said confused.

Well I'm not sure because he is still robot. Lupin said it to himself.

Maybe I can fix them up. Pearl said.

Maybe he needs a reboot. Good thing I wore my boots. I'll reboot him right in the keister. Hheh heh. Sarge said.

I don't see how that's going to help is mechanical failure problems. Jigen said to Sarge.

Yeah you're right. Sarge replied to Jigen.

Out from the darkness came uh, someone. I'll be right back. Church said to them.

Church floats away in the direction of the armored figure.

Uh oh, the natives are getting restless. Caboose, get up there and stall 'em, I'll figure out what's going on. Tucker said to Caboose.

I'm coming with you though. Lupin said to Tucker.

I want to see what's his mechanical problems. Pearl said.

Thanks guys I do appreciate the help. Tucker said to Lupin and Pearl.

Tucker, Lupin and Pearl chases after Church and Caboose stands in front of the Ailens.

Yes, and out of the darkness came someone!And that someone was me! Yes. And I said, funerals are sad, and we should have a birthday party instead, yes! Yes, let there be cake! Um, hallelujah, gesundheit. Caboose said to the Aliens.

Church chasing the unknown figure.

Hey you! Hold on a second, who are you? Hey I'm talkin' to you, what are you deaf? What are you... Before Church could say anything else you felt like you remember the familiar place.

The figure runs into a temple, which suddenly turns into blue base from Valhalla.

What? Church said even more confused.

Church! Hey Church, what're you doing out here man? Tucker said to Church.

Hu-whu? Church said in random words.

Tucker, Lupin and Pearl approaches behind him.

The aliens don't like it when you leave them alone. And I don't like it when the aliens don't like stuff. Tucker said to Church.

Yeah besides, it's not like you like that. Lupin said to Church.

It's almost like your circuit boards are metal functioning. Pearl said to Church.

Did you see him? Church said to Tucker, Lupin and Pearl.

Who? Tucker said confused.

Yeah there is no one else here except for us. Lupin said to Church.

The person, from the darkness, the- no, th- that's not right, that's not right. Well did you see? Church said to them.

Technically I know you must be things. Lupin said to Church.

Are you must have mental functions problems. Pearl said to Church.

And of course I do not have middle function problems. Church said to Pearl.

Okay okay jeez you don't have to be so angry. Pearl replied to Church.

Sarge, Jigen and Goemon, Grif approach them.

What's he talkin' about? Jigen asked Lupin.

Well I don't know that church was talking about he saw something. Lupin replied to Jigen.

And what exactly is that something about? Goemon asked Lupin.

Well he said something that he remembered. Pearl said to Goemon.

Caboose appears behind Tucker and Lupin.

Is he having more memories? Caboose asked.

God dammit does he really have to sneak up like that? Lupin said to Tucker.

Yeah I know how and why he likes to do that. Tucker replied to Lupin.

Is he having more memories? Caboose asked Tucker.

Yep. Tucker replied to Caboose.

Did he remember me this time? Caboose asked Tucker.

Nope. Tucker replied to Caboose.

I saw a canyon, and uh, a waterfall. And there was some kinda dark figure there. Church said to them.

A canyon with a waterfall, where would that be? Lupin said with some suspicious.

Yeah, but where could that be? Church said to himself.

Uh, that sounds like our new bases. Grif replied.

Everyone did not say a word and stared at Grif.

Wait what did you say? Lupin said to Grif confused.

It does? It does! Caboose said confused himself.

Why did you not tell all of us about this!??! Lupin said to Caboose.

Um, I didn't remember it? Caboose replied to Lupin.

Really I mean you can never remember anything. Lupin said to Caboose.

No wonder because he's always Clueless. Tucker said to Lupin.

Sometimes I'm sorry I even told you that story. Grif said to himself

What exactly story did you tell him? Jigen said to Grif.

You know what lights should definitely keep my mouth shut. Grif replied to Jigen.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Lupin and Pearl, Jigen, Goemon. they got themselves ended up in the the Red vs Blue universe. Church/Epsilon was starting to remember some stuff of something. see y'all in the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2: an SOS call

Sarge and Grif in the desert.

Hmm. Sarge said to himself.

Hey Sarge, what's wrong? Grif asked Sarge.

I don't like this, Grif. Sarge replied to Grif.

What, the vision? Grif replied to Sarge.

 _to_ _Tucker_ _,_ _Lupin_ _and_ _Pearl_ _talking to_ _Caboos_ e.

how come you cannot remember everything? Lupin yelled at Caboose.

And why exactly is your girlfriend a tank? Pearl said even more confused.

Let's just say that's a very long story. Tucker said to Lupin and Pearl.

I wish we would all hear about it. Lupin said to Tucker.

 _back to_ _Sarge_ _and_ _Gri_ f.

Yeah. I've never been what you'd call a "new age" kinda guy. Sarge said to Grif.

You don't say. Grif replied to Sarge.

But this bowling ball seems to be on a heck of a roll! Pun intended. What with the flying and the laser shooting and all. Sarge explains to Grif.

Yeah, what about those other new guys that showed up out of nowhere. Grif said to Sarge.

Well I never even thought about that too. Sarge said to Grif.

Yeah and how long has Simmons has don't answer the radio. Grif said to Sarge.

You know it is kind of rather suspicious. Sarge replied to Grif.

 _Simmons_ _and_ _Doc_ _being held prisoner at Valhalla by_ _Wash_ _and the_ _Met_ a.

Hh, mm. Ow my head. Oh. Doc said in pain.

Doc, you're alive. Good. Simmons said to Doc.

Yeah, no thanks to you. Why'd you hit me? Doc asked Simmons.

I didn't hit you, they did. Simmons replied to Doc.

Jerks. Who're they? Doc said confused.

The dark one's Washington. He's a Freelancer. Simmons said to Doc.

Great. 'Cause those guys are always such a blast to hang around with. Doc said to Simmons.

The dark one's Washington. He's a Freelancer. Simmons said to Doc.

But rumor had it those guys were disbanded. Everyone went to jail. Doc said to Simmons.

Yeah, well I guess they got paroled. Simmons said to Doc.

You two, quiet. Washington said to Simmons and Doc.

 _Meta_ _growls incomprehensibl_ y.

Then you need to stop trying to use all of them. You just don't have the resources anymore. Washington said to Meta.

Meta killed a bunch of other Freelancers. Took their equipment. Simmons whispered to Doc.

Like the invisibility? Doc asked Simmons.

Yeah, and the shield and the thing that slows down time. He also stole their A.I. fragments, but those all got wiped out. Now something seems, I don't know, wrong with him. Simmons whispered to Doc.

An A.I. fragment? That I remember. Hey Simmons, remember that A.I. I had for a while? That thing was crazy. Doc said to Simmons out loud.

 _Meta_ _growls and approaches_ _Do_ c.

Yipes! Doc said in fear.

Halt. Meta, stop! Washington said to Meta.

Wyaa! Simmons, help me! Doc said worried to Simmons.

You, what did you just say? Washington said to Doc.

Tht- tht- tht- tht tht, that I had one of your A.I. units? Doc said in fear to Washington.

 _Meta_ _grunt_ s.

Stand down. You said had. Where is it now? Washington said to Doc.

Gone. Doc replied to Washington.

Which one? Washington asked Doc.

Uh, uh ub, the mean one. Doc replied to Washington.

Its name. Did you know its name? Washington said to Doc.

Uh, O'Malley. I mean uh, Omega. Doc replied to Washington.

Well that one's been accounted for. Washington said.

I-I only had it for a short time. Doc said to Washington.

Sarge and Grif are at the jeep, and Church is at the top of the radio antenna.

Alright let's try this. You ready antenna ball? Sarge said to Church.

I told you not to call me that! And hurry it up. This metal rod isn't exactly in a comfortable place. Church replied to Sarge.

Hey, do you wanna find out about your vision or don't ya? Grif said.

 _Radio sounds_

Come in Valhalla Outpost Number One. Come in! Red Base, do you read me? Come in! Give me some more power, shotput. Sarge said on the radio.

 _Simmons_ _' voice is heard on the radio_.

Uh, Sarge? Yeah, hi. Simmons said to Sarge over radio.

Who is this, identify yourself. Sarge said to Simmons on the radio.

It's me, Simmons. Sorry Sir. Simmons said to Sarge over radio.

How is everything going there, Simmons? Sarge said to Simmons on the radio.

Here? Uh, fine I guess. Everything's good. How 'bout you guys? Simmons said to Sarge over radio.

Mission is complete. We're preparing to head out soon. Sarge said to Simmons on the radio.

What was that? Sorry, some static here. This radio's a little messed up. Been a bit rainier here. Simmons said to Sarge over radio.

I said, we're comin' back soon. Sarge said to Simmons on the radio.

Oh, that's great. Hey, when do you think that'll be, exactly. Simmons said to Sarge over radio.

Hard to say, Simmons. We'll let you know. Sarge said to Simmons on the radio.

 _Simmons_ _at the radio with a gun to his head._

Okay Sarge, sounds good. Simmons said to Sarge over radio.

Over and out. Sarge said to Simmons on the radio.

Okay good. Now get back over there. Washington said to Simmons.

Simmons retreats back to Doc.

That was your Sergeant? Doc asked Simmons.

Yeah. Simmons replied to Doc.

You think he'll come help us? Doc asked Simmons.

No, I couldn't say anything to him. If they come, they'll be walking sraight into a trap. Simmons said to Doc.

 _Back to the deser_ t.

Thanks for the help. Grif said to Church.

Yeah, whatever. I'm not gonna fly straight for a week now. Church said to Grif, and flew off.

Simmons sounded good. I guess he's got everything under control. Grif said to Sarge.

Donut and Lopez are dead and someone has taken Simmons prisoner. Sarge replied to Grif.

What? Everything sounded fine to me. Grif said to Sarge.

Think about it. How do you answer the radio at our base? Sarge said to Grif.

Thank you for calling Red Base, this is Private Grif, how may I assist you today. Grif replied to Sarge.

And we've drilled that since day one! Simmons answered 'Hi.' That was my first clue! Sarge said to Grif.

So maybe he's just ups- before Grif could say anything Sarge interrupted him.

He also said the radio was in disrepair. When has Lopez ever let something go without the proper maintenance? Sarge asked Grif.

Never. Grif replied to Sarge.

And look at the time. Sarge said to Grif.

Can't, clock's broken. Grif said to Sarge.

It's 17:30. And everybody knows that 17:30 is... Sarge said to Grif in a serious way.

Donut's daily wine and cheese hour! Grif replied to Sarge.

I didn't hear any tinkling glasses. Did you? Sarge asked Grif.

You're right. Grif replied to Sarge.

what are you guy doing? Jigen said to Sarge and Grif. 

we need your help! Sarge said to Jigen.

well i can help you. Jigen replied to Sarge.

Yeah, Time to kick some kick but's! Amethyst said.

Thank's for your needs. Grif replied to Jigen and Amethyst.

then let's go there to help your friends. staying here doing nothing. Jigen replied to Grif.

Yeah, it's getting boring here. and now we go and kick the bad guy's but. Amethyst said.

Come on- we're going to Valhalla. It's time for a rescue mission! Sarge said to Grif.

Rescue mission? How the hell are we supposed to fight Wash and the Meta? Grif said to Sarge.

 _Grif and Sarge along with Jigen and Amethyst enter the jeep and drive off_

Don't worry I have a plan. How good are the seatbelts in this new jeep? Sarge asked Grif.

Good, I guess. Grif replied to Sarge.

Valhalla, huh? Church said.

 _Church starts following the jeep at a distance._

Wait, why? Grif asked worried. _  
_

To Be Continued...

A/N: Jigen and Amethyst went with Sarge and Grif to Valhalla to rescue Doc & Simmons for Wash and the Meta


End file.
